“Many times when we help we do not really serve. . . . Serving is also different from fixing. One of the pioneers of the Human Potential Movement, Abraham Maslow, said, “If all you have is a hammer, everything looks like a nail.’
Seeing yourself as a fixer may cause you to see brokenness everywhere, to sit in judgment of life itself. When we fix others, we may not see their hidden wholeness or trust the integrity of the life in them. Fixers trust their own expertise.
When we serve, we see the unborn wholeness in others; we collaborate with it and strengthen it. Others may then be able to see their wholeness for themselves for the first time.”
― Rachel Naomi Remen
Drugfree.org has a great post from a parent who’s been through the wringer and is speaking from the other side.
When speaking with a struggling parent, she asked him what he wishes he would have done differently. He responds
I would have learned to listen.
First, I would have learned to listen to my son. …
I would have also learned to listen to counselors and parents. …
I would have learned to listen to my own internal struggles about what I am told….
Finally, I would have learned to listen to my heart and my head.
Please go to his post and read his discussion of each of these. It’s a great post.